Lessons from Lily

We did not have a spare bedroom, not even close... but something moved upon us to welcome a foreign exchange student this year. It was our first time doing it. A little scary.

The best way to describe Lily is adorable. I use to call someone like her, when I did the radio show, a "cry er".  A "cry er" is someone my husband and I thought was so cute that you could just cry thinking about them. My son's girlfriend (from Brazil) says, "Lily is so sweet I want to bite her". A little break in the translation for us in America. Not popular to say we want to bite her... especially since Isabella works in a Daycare. Lots of the kiddies are bitable - and some of them bite back! Still it means the same thing. Lily is someone that you fall in love with the moment you meet her. It may be her Micky Mouse voice or her nervous hugs, but whatever it may be it be... Lily is a cry er, first class.

We are learning what it is to host an exchange student. I have seen a few subtle shifts in the normality around our home. How can a 14 year old travel across the globe to live with total strangers? Maybe the things we thought were scary are really not at all.  When you see how happy she gets over such tiny blessings, such as a tiny pink notepad, you can't help but admit how stuffed we all are with things and how scarce we all are with appreciation. Personally, I can not ever remember jumping over any gift, certainly not a note pad.

Our family is large even huge for someone like Lily. She has no siblings and as it is with most girls from China, her grandmother, not her mother, raises her. She struggles with English and wants very much to let us know that she is glad to be here. I, on the other hand, instinctively want Lily to have everything she needs and to make sure she is not sad or lonely. I mention lonely because though our house is full, Lily prefers to be alone in her room. She stays in there until someone lets her know it is time to go somewhere. She politely says OK and dresses in less than a minute - or so it seems. Kind of unusual for a teenager around here.

I've noticed that Lily wants us to walk ahead. She giggles when we do not and instead hold the door for her gesturing for her walk before us. She loves salad but is not too hip on spaghetti. She would rather sit alone at the island to eat than watch TV downstairs. She eats methodically slow, makes her bed without asking and gives the best, howbeit short, neck massage to whomever happens to be in the room.

Today we went to Dillions after volleyball practice to get each of us girls a salad. Since this most likely was her first time at a salad bar, I showed her all the different kinds of lettuce and the rows and rows of items to choose. "Get whatever you like Lily". As we slowly walked around one end to the other I noticed something that almost took my breath away. Did she realize that she could really have whatever she wanted? Was she comfortable enough to choose only what she liked? Was she just being safe??? Whatever the reason, I looked at her salad as we closed the lids simultaneously and she had made an exact duplicate of my own. Down to the number of tomatoes it was the same. It is possible that when I told her to get whatever she wanted, she thought I wanted her to get what I show her... but I don't believe that to be the case. If  imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I was blushing. Blushing along with a few tears.

Lily went outside to our backyard deck tonight. She had something in her mouth like a plastic stick and was staring up at the darkened sky. I said "Hello Lilly are you OK?" She said, "Yes" and began to tell me of a phone call from her older friend, also a student, from China. I could only make out a little but it seems like she was wanting to tell me all about the conversation. I wish I could have understood everything. Actually, her English has improved dramatically already. She said, "Father gave me the phone and I was able to speak to Susan"... It took me a little bit to figure out who "Father" was. It was my husband. He is Father and I am Mom.

So much intimacy and so much attachment we have for this cry er.

And in two days she will only have been with us for one week..


PW

True Humanitarians

When I lived in South Florida there was a lot of press from the "Save the Manatee" foundation. The precious manatee were subject to extinction due to humans "encroaching" on their natural habitat. Every time you turned on the TV you heard pleas to "Save the Manatee". School Children were programmed to make sure their parents were aware of the proposed danger of dying Manatee. From nursery coloring book pages to High School "Save the Manatee" fundraisers, the Manatee were the thing in Florida. Second only to "Where's the Beef?", "Save the Manatee" was heard everywhere! It was really pretty pathetic.

Interestingly a recent report by the Aireil Survey this winter revealed over 3500 manatees on the coasts of Florida.  The manatee population is increasing in that area as well as a couple more areas. Though still on the endangered list, not so much is heard anymore about the poor manatee. I suppose the Bluefin Tuna, Magellanic Penguin, and the Polar Bear have become more popular to protect. Millions are raised annually to do so. Sadly, the recent east coast blizzards and record low temperatures have hurt the melting ice cap foundation a bit. It has become a hard sell to protect the Polar bears. Just not enough time I suppose to spread the word that freezing temperatures are actually caused by global warming. Huh?

Good planet, bad people, send money.

Do you remember when Princess Diana died? Do you know how she lost her life? Most everyone does. The outpouring of shock and sadness was widespread. I remember being caught up in the media coverage and the Elton John tribute to Diana. Total strangers cried at her massive funeral and for her two boys that she loved so much. Who can forget? Ironically, another famous person died the day before Diana’s funeral. In contrast, her passing was as quiet and humble as the life she lived in the remote villages of Calcutta.

A simple tribute was written, “Missionary and Humanitarian Mother Teresa, after finishing her dinner and prayers, gave way to a weakened heart and passed on to the God who was the very center of her life”. Her life was a life given to children and her passing was almost completely unnoticed. More tears, I suppose, were shed for the Princes then for the orphans during that September in 1997. What a rare and selfless soul was Mother Teresa.

When one is given the title "Humanitarian" they are regarded as a good and kind person. We've all read about loved ones donating one of their kidneys to a relative. And when a total stranger donates a kidney, that kindness receives even more deserved attention. Who would do that? Giving of oneself to add a few more years to another, someone they do not even know. Wow! Those generous people end up on Oprah. No one would think of calling a person who just donated one of their kidneys a "domestic terrorist". The term "Oxymoron" doesn't give justice to that embarrassing misstatement. True, some people may not give it a lot of thought, but no one in their right mind would send death threats to the donor of a kidney. How insane would that be? Giving up a kidney to save the life of another is a good thing.

 A "hero" kind of thing.

I have had the awesome privilege of meeting several true humanitarians in the two decades I have lived in Wichita. People who spend hours a day, for years on end for a cause dear to their hearts. These are men and women, teens, and children who have a passion to save the lives of babies not yet born. I have observed business men alongside moms with strollers - holding signs, singing hymns, and peacefully protesting what they believe was the horror and shame of our city - late term abortion. Abortion so graphic it is hard to even think about.  So horrifically graphic like the image of Malachi, an aborted nine month fetus, found in a dumpster, then pieced together and photographed.

Baby Malachi lived an extremely short life, yet because of the reality of his image, hundreds of babies all over our country are saved from a similar torture. The people who protest abortion are not scary. They are not angry and deranged. Yet they are the only people who are equated with Al-Qaeda on a regular basis by the liberal media and then parroted by those who regularly tune in to their propaganda.

Anyone listening?

Thank God there are clear minded people left with enough inner judgment to see the outrage of this character assassination. As Mother Teresa dedicated her life for children, Pro-life Wichitan's simply agree that enough blood has been shed in our city, and are mindful that not one innocent life of a pre-born child has been slain since the incinerator was removed from 5101 East Kellogg. The dead center of a city infamously known for decades as the abortion capitol of the world, my city - Wichita, Kansas.

As Wichitans we have all breathed our fare share of ashes from the remains of beautiful, precious, innocent babies, like Malachi. The fact is that most of those late term abortions were not from residents of our city at all. I personally witnessed on numerous occasions cars and taxi's from Wisconsin, New Jersey, North Carolina, California etc etc. pulling into the one location that routinely profited from using vacuuming like devices (via TV monitor) to suck out screaming children's brains until they finally stopped moving. Just saving one of those babies from such a horrific, excruciatingly painful death should have made at least a short segment on Oprah!

Apparently not.

Are there really people in Wichita, Kansas who are resisting a new abortion doctor from opening up shop? Yup! These true humanitarians are just that, true. They are honest, God fearing, selfless people who abhor the shedding of any innocent life. They do not deserve to be equated with the killing of George Tiller, or the bombing of buildings, or of Islamic Extremism. That is more than just a diversion, fallacy, and lie. It’s strategic. People who protest abortion are portrayed as such on purpose as a strategy. A strategy meant to ultimately protect the mega lucrative industry of abortion. No doubt about it, it's about the money.

Tons of it.

Pro-life activists have simply decided to peacefully protest any opening of any clinic that performs abortions at any trimester in Wichita. They have simply decided to protect the baby human which is the most precious, yet most unprotected endangered species in America.

Thank God for the churches who are sending representatives to protest any future opening of an abortion facility in Wichita. You have already saved lives. You are true humanitarians. And yet instead of honor, you receive threatening letters and ridicule and are labeled Nazi's. How strange? I know History books have been altered in our country, but didn't Hitler kill innocent life, not pray to save it?  Such gibberish belongs in insane asylums, not on the nightly news.

Hundreds of Florida manatee were saved by the outcry of animal rights groups with clever marketing. Thousands of children were fed, cared for, and removed from life on the streets by the vision and mission of Mother Teresa. Each year people are moved upon to donate either one of their own kidneys or an organ of a loved one who passed away to give sight to or save the life of a stranger. We applaud you.

It is normal to be touched by the caring generosity of another.
However, let us also pay tribute to the nuns and ministers, moms and attorneys, policemen and politicians who set aside a portion of their busy lives to do what they can to protect the lives of innocent babies in Wichita, Kansas and around the world.

You are true humanitarians.

pw

Gone Too Soon

I just finished reading LIFE Magazine’s special addition. "Gone Too Soon" which was full of stories about famous people such as Anne Frank whose lives were not long, but mattered.

My thoughts returned to the life that mattered the most to me growing up … my mother. It has been as long now since her death as the number of years she lived, yet I still see new evidence of just how much she mattered. I see her in the way I parent. I see her in familiar gestures and inherited talent.  I see her in my daughter’s eyes.

The magazine spoke about how lives cut short left behind so much potential, so much loss. How true it is. I have lived 40 years without her and yet sorrow remains over the loss of what could have been.

And so it is, as written in the closing statements of  the “Gone Too Soon” LIFE magazine special addition - My mother also “Had so much more to give and, just as important, wanted so much to give it!”

What a colossal rip off.

I then thought about our church family some of whom have also lost

loved ones due to premature death. Gone too soon!

From a pure emotional standpoint, it is unbearable to even think about it. That is what we do; try not to think about such things.

But for those who have been visited by premature death, especially recently, it is all they can think about.

I understand, in a way, how mean it is for life to go on all around them. Even kind words meant to help can wound. Seems that only time holds the hope for any inkling of relief.  A long, long time at that.

My heart aches for the mom who lost her only son right before the holidays and for a fellow Pastor’s wife who lost her sister on Christmas day, and for the man who included a photo in an on-line album of his late wife as a young woman, holding her first child,
and of the friend who relives a tragedy much too difficult to address.

God help them.

So much lied ahead that they would have wanted to be a part of!

Premature death .  .  .  Gone too soon indeed.

So what is the good news about this whole premature death thing? What good thing can come out of it? Any fatalistic suggestions?

Never mind.

God’s Word is pretty clear that the only death that glorifies (Other than laying one’s life down for another) is dying to one’s self. Paul said, it is far better to be with God in heaven, but for those on earth, it is BETTER that I stay.  Better because the apostle could continue to bless the followers with spiritual insight. He could be there for them when they needed or just wanted him to be. Paul could serve Jesus by serving His people – not in heaven, on earth!

Thank God Paul’s mindset was not one of fatalism, but of faith. A freed man who had a free will. Because of those who would be blessed by his longer life, he chose to stay. Although, he did make it clear that dying and being with Christ was far better for him – for anyone.   Phil. 1:21.

That is a fact to hold on to.

Unfortunately, there remains a constant need to be reminded of the fact that only good things come from above. It’s a real theological stretch to include premature death as one of those good things, yet people still try.

It is not. 

And so we are left with some questions for certain and a few unknowns.

On the other hand we do have several for sures that we can rest our faith on.

Here are a few…

God is a good God. He gives life and life abundantly.

John 10:10.

Life of any length is but a vapor when compared to eternal life.

James 4:14

A glorious guaranteed permanent reunion is on the calendar… 

1 Thes. 4:13-18; Heb. 12:1

Tragedy does not have to happen again. Scripture provides divine protection as part of the blood covenant.

Psa. 4:8; Prov.18:10; Psa. 91:16; Psa. 91:11-13; Prov. 3:1-2; Psa.90:10.

When Jesus left this earth he told us that he is sending a comforter, the Holy Spirit, to live inside of each believer.  His comfort works.

It heals if we allow it.  John 14:16.

The sting of death has been eliminated. When a person passes only their earthly house remains which becomes an empty shell. Man’s spirit is eternal; therefore they really have not died at all, but were merely transformed. 1Cor.15:55.

Sadly, the longer a person lives the more opportunity to hear about premature deaths. This is especially true if you are associated with a lot a people over a long period of time such as Pastors of the same church for 21 years.  Personally, each time I hear of a premature death my reaction is always the same, colossal rip off - advantage Satan. Any death is tragic, but premature death is especially so.

Just as certain, however, as the fact that the devil is snickering in hell over each tragedy, is the Lord’s supernatural comfort and ability to gently bring those left behind through.

When speaking about “the late” Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the Bible teaches that God is the Lord of the living not of the dead.  That denotes those patriarchs are still alive!  Alive in Heaven.

Such a confirming, comforting verse.

Matt. 22:32.

In this temporary earthly realm, however, we need to concentrate on those around us who have not passed. We need to cherish each day with them and to fulfill our time as God intended. It is so important not to complete the package that the enemy started which would be our spiritual crippling or demise. It is by God’s Spirit, His Word and Power alone that carries us to the other side of grief.

1Chronicles 29:10-12; Isa 25:8; 1 Cor. 15:54. 

What a short life we have to live here on earth! Shorter by the second. The only way to live out our days, especially if we have experienced a premature death, is to live with eternity in mind.

Daily.

Considering eternity and the power that promise has within it, results in Satan’s weapons crumbling before they detonate. Unfortunately, many fall prey to the final blows the enemy has planned for them.

Blows of depression, finger pointing, or guilt.

How foolish it is to hold grudges or bitterness toward anyone especially loved ones.   What a deception to allow the enemy to come between us and all the comforting promises in God’s Word. It is not possible to turn back time but it is within our reach to help form the future for us and others by living out His will in our lives.

Living with eternity in mind turns our attention away from the past and concentrates on the present which creates a much anticipated future.

Are we living our lives today the way we wish we would if it were our last? Who is around us that would benefit from our heartfelt prayers before it is too late? How many future plans of Satan can we help destroy by preventative prayer combined with unmovable faith that what He says in His Word, He will do?

Psa. 91:16

Unlike the tragedy of premature death, which is noted by all, the vast majority of our intercessory prayers will not be celebrated or even noticed until Heaven. One day we will grieve no more and we will become aware of what our prayers accomplished.

Matt. 6:4-6; Isa. 25:8; Rev. 19:9

When you truly love someone, that true love never fades. And for those who would do anything, even give up their own life for the safe return of another, remember there is one who has already done that for you. Jesus pushed you out of the way of your certain demise and took your consequences, pain, and punishment. He did it because His love for you is that strong. He took your place because He wanted you to fulfill your days on earth and live forever with Him in Heaven. He died in your place because he could and because he wanted to. No man took the life of Jesus, He laid it down freely.

Love covers it does not reveal mistakes or faults. Love is unearned and unconditional. Love comforts when nothing else can. And love never ever fails. God is that love.

If you have suffered a premature death in your family, it is important to know that is not the final chapter. Rely on the comfort of the Holy Spirit, not your own ability to comfort yourself. Trust in the truth that time will bring relief and that it will one day get easier. Understand that due to your weakened state, the enemy wills to finish you off. Be determined to not allow Satan to add to his spoils.

We can also remind people of the specialness of the one we lost, far too early, because though they may not have been famous as those in Life’s “Gone Too Soon” addition, their life however short, mattered.

Every life does.

And lastly, we can do for them what they cannot do for themselves –

Cherish and enjoy the moments of our own life - for them, for us, and in spite of their premature passing.

pw

Happy Valentine's Day

I am so in love today.

I am so thankful for my first true love. I love that we still look forward to each morning talking over coffee and I love how impossible it is for him to keep a secret - like his plans for Valentine's Day.

We've been together for 28 years, have 5 children (all serving God) and have been to 8204 baseball games.

We plan on being together in Heaven. We do.
Ecc. 3:14

If I had to write some "off the cuff happy marriage advice" it would be this . . . Wait for God's choice, forgive quickly, defend always, dream together, and try to make the other look good.


Dark Chocolate truffles are also a good idea.

pw

Father Sky, Mother Earth

Not sure if you caught it, but the Arizona memorial service (pep rally) in honor of the Tucson shooting victims was kicked off with a native American blessing by a tribal leader that would have made Pocahontas cry blasphemy. I have listened to a lot of politically correct, new age, bash Christians, blame Bush, and destroy Sarah mumbo jumbo for so long I just assumed I was use to it. But then the Indian spoke. And what should have been a solemn occasion with the token "speckle of religion thrown in to pacify the close minded", was worthy of throwing the money changer table over that held the TV. Not to bother with detail, suffice to say, the event made Baal worship seem acceptable. The so called blessing included praise to "Father Sky, and Mother Earth" as well as several incantations that even the tribal leader himself choked on the nonsense he uttered. We looked at each other, the Preacher and I, because we both new this was an all time low. Even for liberals.

So I decided, at least for now, to do what I have been thinking about, but dreaded the thought of... begin a blog. It has been six years since the Preacher's Wife Morning Show on ZFM aired each weekday morning. 
Looking back, the six years,  two to three hours a day, of live radio - flew by.
Many have asked if I miss it.

I do.

I am not certain about the future and I know that there are not enough hours in a day to complete all the things I want to do. Join the club PW! - I hear ya. Time will tell if this continues or is just a satisfying way to say, "The sky is not my father, and nobody better ever call this sinful earth my mom!

I don't care if no one reads this and I still don't want to use my real name.

I am the farthest thing from a feminist, if that term even applies today.
I feel no urgency to hold on to my individual identity, after all does not the two became one??
I would never use a hyphen, in my nationality or in my name.
I don't believe it's cool to put down men and as a wife it doesn't make me more important if I do so.
It's true I tried it just to make sure.

Finally, I am sincerely proud to be just some man's wife . . . a preacher's wife.

pw