We did not have a spare bedroom, not even close... but something moved upon us to welcome a foreign exchange student this year. It was our first time doing it. A little scary.
The best way to describe Lily is adorable. I use to call someone like her, when I did the radio show, a "cry er". A "cry er" is someone my husband and I thought was so cute that you could just cry thinking about them. My son's girlfriend (from Brazil) says, "Lily is so sweet I want to bite her". A little break in the translation for us in America. Not popular to say we want to bite her... especially since Isabella works in a Daycare. Lots of the kiddies are bitable - and some of them bite back! Still it means the same thing. Lily is someone that you fall in love with the moment you meet her. It may be her Micky Mouse voice or her nervous hugs, but whatever it may be it be... Lily is a cry er, first class.
We are learning what it is to host an exchange student. I have seen a few subtle shifts in the normality around our home. How can a 14 year old travel across the globe to live with total strangers? Maybe the things we thought were scary are really not at all. When you see how happy she gets over such tiny blessings, such as a tiny pink notepad, you can't help but admit how stuffed we all are with things and how scarce we all are with appreciation. Personally, I can not ever remember jumping over any gift, certainly not a note pad.
Our family is large even huge for someone like Lily. She has no siblings and as it is with most girls from China, her grandmother, not her mother, raises her. She struggles with English and wants very much to let us know that she is glad to be here. I, on the other hand, instinctively want Lily to have everything she needs and to make sure she is not sad or lonely. I mention lonely because though our house is full, Lily prefers to be alone in her room. She stays in there until someone lets her know it is time to go somewhere. She politely says OK and dresses in less than a minute - or so it seems. Kind of unusual for a teenager around here.
I've noticed that Lily wants us to walk ahead. She giggles when we do not and instead hold the door for her gesturing for her walk before us. She loves salad but is not too hip on spaghetti. She would rather sit alone at the island to eat than watch TV downstairs. She eats methodically slow, makes her bed without asking and gives the best, howbeit short, neck massage to whomever happens to be in the room.
Today we went to Dillions after volleyball practice to get each of us girls a salad. Since this most likely was her first time at a salad bar, I showed her all the different kinds of lettuce and the rows and rows of items to choose. "Get whatever you like Lily". As we slowly walked around one end to the other I noticed something that almost took my breath away. Did she realize that she could really have whatever she wanted? Was she comfortable enough to choose only what she liked? Was she just being safe??? Whatever the reason, I looked at her salad as we closed the lids simultaneously and she had made an exact duplicate of my own. Down to the number of tomatoes it was the same. It is possible that when I told her to get whatever she wanted, she thought I wanted her to get what I show her... but I don't believe that to be the case. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I was blushing. Blushing along with a few tears.
Lily went outside to our backyard deck tonight. She had something in her mouth like a plastic stick and was staring up at the darkened sky. I said "Hello Lilly are you OK?" She said, "Yes" and began to tell me of a phone call from her older friend, also a student, from China. I could only make out a little but it seems like she was wanting to tell me all about the conversation. I wish I could have understood everything. Actually, her English has improved dramatically already. She said, "Father gave me the phone and I was able to speak to Susan"... It took me a little bit to figure out who "Father" was. It was my husband. He is Father and I am Mom.
So much intimacy and so much attachment we have for this cry er.
And in two days she will only have been with us for one week..
PW
