Sunday, January 22, 2012

5 out of 5

Since I have been a proud member of the mother of five club since 1998, I thought it would be fitting to write about my 5 kids. My husband and I are currently batting 1000 with our five children. 5 out of 5 have turned out better than imagined or predicted in the norm of things. So different from each other yet similar in all the important stuff! From common sense and wisdom to nurturing, creativity, discipline, athletic and comedic ability our 5 are uniquely positioned for accomplishment. Some personality traits are strikingly similar while others are a stark contrast. But all 5 out of 5 are born again, God fearing Christians . . . 5 out of 5 are family oriented choosing to be around our home and each other. 5 out of 5 are in the ministry in some aspect. 5 out of 5 are insightful and thoughtful of other people. All 5 are good looking on the inside as well as the outside. I know that I am just a tad bit bias!

I also understand that the enemy continues to win all our kids over with various temptations, deceptions and lies. We all have heard of once innocent children falling away and forsaking the hopes and dreams their parents had for them. Broken families are a favorite pursuit of the devil. I have heard stories of parents who raise all their kids alike, yet end up with at least one bad apple. Some would say it is almost inevitable. Not so! The only inevitable thing is the reliability of a forgiving savior combined with the absoluteness of His uncompromising word, opportune wisdom, and unconditional love. I believe in second chances and miraculous combacks, yet, I also strongly believe in the power of preventative prayer!

Actually, in the case of our children we did not "raise them all the same" which may have helped toward the present outcome. Every child is unique and requires a somewhat specialized raising technique. We did not raise our kids by following a "how to" book. We did not even plan it out! It was simply adhering to the wisdom of the Holy Spirit for each individual child in each individualized and unpredictable situation. Flexible in the small things, yet firm in the absolutes in scripture.

One thing that has always been paramount to us is that we show love and respect to all 5 of our children equally. Some may require more time, some may require more training, but as the Bible says... there is no difference in His eyes or in our eyes and hearts.

It is also no secret that living the Christian life has rewards in varied ways. Favor, confidence, and power over temptation are a few of those rewards. Yes, we showed our children the way and believed for their salvation and commitment to Christ, but it is their choice and responsibility to serve him day by day. Our kids have never known anything but a busy life of full time ministry. Yet they have never felt left out or put aside for others which almost always leads to resentment towards God when ministers' children grow and mature.

How did all 5 of our kids never suffer from the infamous PK syndrome? What did we do as parents that caused the current success? Is there any advice or formula that I could share in this blog? Maybe. Early on there was a deliberate decision to put our family first while pursuing ministry. We did ministry together, all of us, all the time. Many times our small children would fall asleep on the pew or in a restaurant booth. In youth ministry they were just part of the equation. We had skinheads hold them as we vacuumed (saved skin heads!) and death punk rockers sing and play with them in the church van. We took them everywhere. They learned who we were in ministry by personal observation. We also didn't remove fun from serving God. We had fun in and out of church!

When we became senior pastors of WOL back in 1989 our two children at the time were just 1 and 3 years old. We made it a practice to not ignore them when they wanted to show us their Sunday School page or ask us a question, even if we were talking to a new visitor. It was pretty basic knowledge to us that if we ignored them or put them off even at that early age, they would feel that church or ministry was more important than they were. So we made a conscience effort not to.

It may be a shock to some that we missed church services for important out of town events that meant a lot to our kids. One time a successful guest minister spent a week in our home and witnessed one of those times. He was very successful and my husband asked advice from him, "What is the secret to your success"? He replied without hesitation, "Well, "I would never miss a service for a ballgame for one thing." Wow! Thankfully, we let that advice fall by the wayside and left it there all these 29 years. Sadly, that successful international minister ended up losing his family, his wife, his kids and his ministry. People may not agree or understand, but the scripture is crystal clear that to not take care of your own family makes you worse than an infidel or unbeliever. And what good would it do to gain the whole world, grow a vast soul winning ministry and loose the very ones that God expects you to daily raise up to follow Him? The answer is obvious, but those following that advice are few. And it is the future (the children) as well as the ministry who ultimately loose.

People have asked us how our children have turned out so well even during difficulties in ministry. The best way I can share my insight on that is to share the following story.

Recently, one of our children was brought aside to help an old friend with his problem. During the conversation the subject turned to how our child's Dad and brother were the reason for this persons' fall. After sitting and hearing some of the most far-fetched satanic twisted hogwash, our adult child simply said "This was the first time I ever heard anything negative about Dad." The key word here is "first". Too many times in the ministry or even in secular jobs, bad stuff is being said about Dad. True or untrue, your kids need not be a part of that cancer. The other thing that came out of this story is how our other child, who was falsely accused, handled the situation. Instead of being bitter, his heart was towards the person who had fallen into the hands of the enemy. Although it is hurtful especially to me as mom, it is God's acceptance and truth that allow unfairness to be viewed in perspective to the overall picture. Seeing hurting and hurtful people with the eyes of compassion is redemptive as well as felicitous with scripture.

Training up a child in the way he/she should go includes more than just an introduction to God and His rules. It includes attributes and character only revealed during hardships and unjust times.

Observed reaction is more vital than observed action. Attention is more vital than praise. Although praise is important! A sense of family security along with individual honor will hold up when the signs point elsewhere and the odds are against you. Anyone can force your kids to put down the iPod and have some family time. But when they choose to spend time with you, such as it was for my recent birthday celebration, full of unique and special presents, it becomes the greatest gift of all.

Our youngest child just turned 13 and so for us there are still some years left for child rearing. But looking ahead I can see the writing on the wall. 5 out of 5! All fulfilling the call on their lives and passing this great success story on to their own children. Even to a thousand generations! A-men!
Deuteronomy 7:9



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CURL: The truly dismal state of the union - Washington Times

CURL: The truly dismal state of the union - Washington Times